People need to vent. And one's spouse is a natural person to whom we can complain about anything and everything.
But here's the thing. Sometimes we just want to vent. For the sake of it. And sometimes we want help finding a solution.
My husband and I realized that we could avoid a lot of stress by asking each other, "Do you want a shoulder or a solution?"
It's freeing, it feels supportive, and we get what we need emotionally.
100% relatable. We've often found this to be true in our relationship! Techie is always all ready to give solutions but more often than all MD requires is a shoulder. And the opposite is true as well! When techie is distressed, he WANTS SOLUTIONS - but MD's automatic instinct is to give a shoulder. Over the past year, we've realized this and have started tailoring our instincts to offer what the other person wants :)